As I write to you today, I am in the air on my way home from Bali, flying smoothly somewhere over the Philippines. As the dark hours of night creep in, I feel like I am swirling in grace.
The first time I went to Bali many years ago, my life felt very hard. I had been in the thick of single parenting my two young teens, one of who had recently been through the most severe trauma of his life, just the year prior.
I had been trying desperately to parent him well through it all, but, like many parents, I had zero experience of parenting a child through a tragedy.
It felt like I was driving in a blizzard with no visibility, gripping the steering wheel so tight, and praying for dear life.
I was traumatized too, but there was no time for me (and I do not say that lightly). I had no choice but to put my feelings on the back burner, knowing full well that I would have to revisit them when there could be time for me again.
The first time I arrived in Bali and saw this beautiful land –– just a glimpse of the people, their rituals, and the surrounding beautiful bright green rice fields and glorious flowers –– my heart cracked open and I melted into a puddle of tears.
In the words of Andrea Gibson, trauma can undo the feeling that we are unconditionally loved.
Bali was where I was able to soften for the first time in years.
Bali was my return to love.
Since that trip, and over the past ten years, I have returned to Bali each year (other than during the pandemic). Each time, I feel I return home closer to my true nature, with wider glimpses of my soul as unbounded love.
This land has partnered with me in my own healing.
As I’ve told Jason and my kids: “If I am ever not okay, send me to Bali!”
When turning in my manuscript to my publisher lined up perfectly with the end of my Bali retreat this year, I was in awe.
It felt just right!
Earlier today, on my final early morning beach walk before I left for the airport, the sunlight was shining down on the black sand just right, creating a sparkly luminescence that lit up the entire beach for as far as I could see.
It felt like Bali was sending me home, yet again, filled with love.
When I find something that helps me, I love to share it to see if it can help others too.
Over the years, I’ve witnessed the ripple effect of healing (with food, body, and life) for many of the women who have joined me there.
If you feel called, please note that registration for 2024 dates is open.
May we all remember the unbounded love that we are,